Thursday, 19th September 2019
6:01PM, Cafe de Barones, Amsterdam
Feeling better today – not saying that yesterday was a bad one though. Had a nice catchup with my agents Sophie and Ymke at the office. We had a nice lunch and coffee, and later tea while talking to Sophie about some topics. One of them included the 6 months in a year that I am here – I was having uncertainty about it – and whether the timing was ‘right’. Well, the short answer is ‘yes’.
On the topic of my work next, the gist of it was that I want to stick to my beliefs and be true to myself. I want to work with more artists like Zyanya etc., who would be able to elevate my vision of what I love and think fashion should ‘be’. Happy and grateful to have the support from Sophie and Ymke.
On Tuesday evening, stopped by Sarah’s studio near the Nieuwmarkt to catch up and have drinks. It was so nice to see her again! She took us to a bar-restaurant at the square and we caught up on 2 drinks (actually two Colas for me). She first shared with me about her recent separation and her ‘plans’ – long story.
I shared with her a little about my struggle artistically and also the fact that I have to straddle between 2 cities; and how I feel that I am not progressing in one of them when I am in the other. However, I know that it can’t be summarised that easily, and especially after having the talk with my agents, being here and away is not a bad thing at all! The months that I am back in Singapore are mostly not the ‘busy’ periods here anyway, such as the summer months and the year end/new years. Those months actually gives me the chance to work more closely with my best friend Ivan in Singapore.
I have to start seeing my unique situation as a BLESSING in disguise, instead of a burden. Takes quite a bit of effort and time to finally accept this, but I need to do so in order to fully focus on my work.
Here and now writing this, I want to remind myself that: I own my experiences; I am the most clear on my likes and dislikes; I take ownership of my vision and what I want to say in my work. I am clear on my influences and inspirations, and I draw from them and mix them with my own interpretation. This, in and of itself, makes it already different and unique. I fear not of competition, but instead seek to learn from those that I look up to. I insist on staying true to my beliefs, and have to start being sure of my intentions and actions.